Vampires never get old

edited by Zoraida Córdova and Natalie C. Parker, featuring stories by Samira Ahmed, Dhonielle Clayton, Zoraida Córdova and Natalie C. Parker, Tessa Gratton, Heidi Heilig, Julie Murphy, Mark Oshiro, Rebecca Roanhorse, Laura Ruby, Victoria “V. E.” Schwab, and Kayla Whaley.

Original Instagram post: May 9, 2021

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Untraditional heroes and tropes flipped on their heads? That’s what you’ll find in the pages of Vampires Never Get Old.

Full disclosure: I bought this book because Schwab’s story is in it. I don’t go for vampire stories usually, so the idea of a collection of “vampire retellings” on its own wasn’t enough to sell me. That said, I am having so much fun making my way through this short story collection! (I’m saving “First Kill” for last so I don’t just put down the whole thing after satisfying the “I-must-read-everything-Victoria-writes itch.”

Among others, I’ve met a queer, plus-sized vampire hunter and a trans body snatcher (in Victorian London) who digs up a vampire. Having these non-traditional protagonist in a vampire tale was something I didn’t know I needed. I’ve met a teenage girl with complete agency over whether or not she was turned. I loved seeing the trope of “helpless girl turned against her will” dismantled and reimagined.

But my favorite, my *absolute favorite* story so far has been “A Guidebook for the Newly Sired Desi Vampire” by Samira Ahmed. Even though I haven’t read everything in this book yet, I can tell you that it’s worth finding this collection just to read this story. 

It opens with:

“Salaam, namaste, and hello, dear one.

Stop.

Whatever you do, DO NOT GO OUTSIDE.

Sit down.

Close your eyes. Rest your mind. [See: meditation 101: Tips, Tricks and Tools for Beginners.]

Now take a breath. (Not literally, but we’ll get to that later.)”

The entire story is delightfully frank and written in this guidebook-style. What really snagged me though was that vampirism and colonialism go, very directly, hand-in-hand in this story. [WHAT SHOULD YOU EAT: Your colonizer.]

I love culture-specific stories, so I grinned madly when I got to lines like, “Many of you are vegetarian. Many of you keep halal. Some of you live life according to the principles of ahmisa: Cause no injury, do no harm.”

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